| |
|
|
| 05:46pm 07/03/2006 |
| |
mood:  blah
|
Call me ungrateful, but it seems nothing can satisfy me any more. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
| 11:06pm 06/03/2006 |
| |
mood:  tired
|
I think today i had the worst pms i have had in my entire life.
like moodswings all over the place.
i was bitchy when i woke up because well it was monday morning at 7 and i had to go to work. im getting rushed out the door when im trying to make a tea.
then i get to work and i find out that i missed March of the penguins winning an oscar last night, and all the guys had little pengys with them and i missed it. everyone but me seen it. i was so sad you dont even kno, usually i would be sad for like 5 seconds but today it actually lasted.
i went back to being bitchy. then happy for abit.
and then i didnt feel good so from the time ive been home to now, i am grumpy and tired.
wow im just a big sack of fun.
i think one day ken is going to bitch slap me for my little moodswings. hahhahahh i will so deserve it. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
| 12:46am 26/02/2006 |
| |
mood:  ohhh stop!
|
I so forgot this place even existed.
I'm really bored so I decide to post.
Ummm well i have nothing to write about .
Star wars is on, i began watching them and the one that is on right now is way before or after? (the series confuses me) to where i last watched it.
I start my new job on monday. its about time, ive been unemployed for like 2 months, its a good thing i found one because if i didnt soon i would probably end up having to kove back home, and after living on my own, that is not somehting i want to do. when i first moved out i didnt like having to pay rent and bills, but now that i have been out for a while, i dont think i could handle moving back in with mommmy. even tho i love her dearly.
anywho...
my moms cat is pregnat and i want a kitten and ken wont let me. he thinks i wont take care of it. i dont kno where he would get such an idea.
i just looked outside and it just started crazy snowing, 2 seconds ago it was clear...werid.
well for me who had noting to write i didnt do to shabby, im gonna go and join ken sucking on chicken feet and drink kool- aid that has waaaayy to much sugar in it. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
| 08:30pm 23/11/2005 |
| |
Im tired of being lied to. Coward. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
| 08:47pm 29/09/2005 |
| |
we(ken and i) got kicked out of the house.
and have to move into our own place.
ill be optomistic and say maybe it wont be that bad? |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
| 08:15pm 21/09/2005 |
| |
mood:  bored
|
Last night I went to the bar and came home with this
I named her Coma
she is really affectionate |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
| 08:08pm 17/09/2005 |
| |
ps. i have come to the conclusion that dez is gone to kitty heaven.
i miss him. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
| 08:03pm 17/09/2005 |
| |
mood: tired
|
Ken and I went to go and see March of the Penguins today.
I kno he liked it, theres no lying to me
i kno!! he cant even deny it.
i almost fell aslepp at work tonight, and i became so tired that i didnt even care about my tables anymore i just became a huge bitch.
i think i am going to go and take a nap, we are supposed to be hanging out with brittany, archie, melissa and collin tonight, and i kno i probably wont get to go to bed until tomorrow. im looking foreward to tonight tho. very much. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
| 11:20pm 14/09/2005 |
| |
mood: drained music: nine inch nails- sin
|
I am a hypocrite.
I am just as thirsty.
Its like my legs are broken in 5 places
and i can't stand.
forgive me, friend. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
| 02:12am 11/09/2005 |
| |
mood:  lets jump! music: ffffffffffffffffffffhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh(the fan)
|
DEz hasn't been home in 7 days im really worrried about him.
i swear if my dez dies, i dont nkow what i am going to do, it would be like losing a child, or a best friend. me and dez used to talk about everything, well i would do the talking and he would do the listening, but still he did more than the people who "care" about me ever did. I love dez more than i love myself.
ken went, hes been all geeky, he went from playing video games, to reading a book, and smoking cigarettes. if ken ever becomes like those other players on that game, i seriously dont think i will be able to handle a boyfriend who acts like the game is real life, and is you dont blow up the snipper dude, the whole world is doomed. hahhaha, its funny when i can hear them come through the tv, they get all mad and shit when someone they want to die doesnt die.
reading that last paragraph i realize that i am a hypocrite, and i am a geek tonight too.
1) while ken was playing video games i myself, was on the computer playing games
2) ken is reading the book i just finished reading this morning
3) as ken smoked his cigarette i typed on lj, so what does that have to say about me?
i suck, we both suck.
wait i suck even more because my car broke down and i have been carless for like 3 -4 days now.
let me tell you one thing. when you get used to having your own car and just hoping in and going to having to bum a ride, or walk it fucing blows worse than the wind during a snow storm.
my mom somehow talked me into playing on her dart team, i have never played datrs in my life and i suck real bad and all these old ppl have been playing for like years and they all look at my hair and whisper because i suck, but we play at different bars every week so i can get wasted. hahha my mom tried to encourage me by telling me that i am really good despite the fact that i have never played before, kind of like when i was 5 and made a picture that was horrid but she would stick it on the fridge for the view of everyone who came over to our house, and tell me how much she liked it, and even at the age of 5 i knew it was a piece of crap. i love my mom, its great that she isnt all competative and she doesnt care if we win or lose, because we get to play and try to have fun. she even proudly told everyone in the whole place that i was her daughter.
oh and me and my mom went and seen march of the penguins... holy shit is all i have to say.
so...
i miss dez
ken and i are geeks
my car sucks
we played darts and watched penguins have babies
I MISS DEZ WAYYYYYY TOOOOO MUCH! (come home) |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
| 04:07am 17/08/2005 |
| |
mood:  thirsty
|
I wish I had the balls to tell people how I really feel.
Instead, I sit back and watch them trample my emotions.
Maybe I am just a masadistic bitch who likes feeling abused,
and unimportant.
Maybe I am naive, and believe things will change.
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
| 09:11pm 17/07/2005 |
| |
mood:  relaxed music: modest mouse- the moon and antarctica
|
Apparently I'm not supposed to be aware of what is going on in my own house.
heh, i guess it pays off having a key to a door that no one else does.
so i guess i'll sit back and wait for the truth to be told and see how long it takes for the truth to come out.
i guess there is always going to be something that is bugging me.
the diffrence is this time, im willing to talk about it.
and im willing to talk about it, when the individual can fess up.
im doing it this way because i want to see how long it takes them.
other than that
new static-x cd= the most amazing cd i have ever owned
today is my dads birthday, i tried to call him but my brother said that he is gone for the week.
im enjoying my summer a whole lot.
im actually enjoying every part of my life right now.
everything is just going so good for me.
although i am just waiting for something to fuck up beacuse it seems to good to be tru.
i've never been this happy before.
my mom just told me that mike stanley called, i should go return his call.
im getting awefully bored of this computer.
bye bye |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
| 08:36pm 03/07/2005 |
| |
Just another one that I care about that couldn't resist.
Just another disappointment. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
| 06:38pm 30/06/2005 |
| |
mood: relaxed music: static-x ~im the one
|
I woke up this morning at like 630 to ken throwing his roomates cats from his bedroom across the kitchen.
at the time i thought it was kinda mean, and I didnt kno why ken was being so aggresive at such a time. looking back at it now tho, it is sooo funny, the cats werent hurt, or anything, its just that i have never been woken up to cats being thrown from one room across another. When the one cat hissed at him, I was laying in bed and all i heard was ken going into the kitchen yellinbg at the cat going "do you wanna fuck with me!?"
saying it like the cat would understand him.
i woke up again at like 1230 and came home because i figured ken was going to sleep all day and i wanted to come home and eat and shower to get the sand out of every orphous of my body.
last night was kens bday so we went to the beach to party. i had alot of fun. im pretty sure ken could say the same condidering that on my camera this morning i found pics of him drunk dancing around the fire in his underwear. or at least it looks like he is dancing.
when i got into my car this morning i sooooo regreted going to the beach.
there was like 2 pounds of sand that i had to vaccum out of the passenger side where ken was sitting because he decided he was going to wear his clothes in the water and then roll around in the sand and then get into my car. YOU OWE ME BIG TIME COLLINS!!! i had many four letter words slipping between my lips as i was trying to clean the sand out of my car. its still not all out.
and i wonder how many times " im rick james bitch" was said last night.
the cops came and kicked us off the beach, so we went to my cousins and they put a couch in the firepit and lit it in fire.
it was deefinitly a night to remember.
there is a party tonight, and i cant get a hold of anyone, and im not going alone, i hope someone returns my call soon. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| I stole this from MIchael |
|
|
| 10:14pm 24/06/2005 |
| |
mood: jubilant
|
FIRSTS
First best friend: Jen Roberts
First car:the 89 grand prix my mother bf gave to me, and then sold on me, now i have my own car, its all mine, a 95 chav lumina
First break-up: Pringle
First screen name: i dont even remember
First self purchased album: korns first
First funeral:my grandfather
First pets: my kitty named booboo
First big trip: going to wonderland when i was like 3, it seemed like it took forever to get there
First music you remember hearing in your house: Tom Petty, Aerosmith, pink floyd, ect
LASTS
Last car ride: I drove home from work
Last kiss: today
Last good cry: about 2 weeks ago
Last movie seen: a beautiful mind
Last beverage: ginger ale
Last food consumed: chicken egg foo young i brought home from work
Last crush:
Last phone call: mike L
Last time showered: before work
Last shoes worn: pink and black DCs
Last item bought: chicken egg foo young
RELATIONSHIPS
Who is your very best friend: we arent that close anymore
FASHION/STUFF
Where is your favorite place to shop: hot topic
Any tattoos or piercings: i took all of my piercings out, i only have my lip and my tongue now, tattoos i have jack and sally on my arm, and a butterfly with eyes on the top of my foot
SPECIFICS
Do you do drugs:no
What kind of shampoo do you use: when i do wash my hair, i use whatever my mom buys
What are you listening to right now: modest mouse
Where do want to get married: i need to fall in love before i plan a wedding
How many buddies are online right now: in not signed in
What would you change about yourself: a few minor flaws, but nothing serious
FAVORITES
Color: pink and black
Food: wendys
Boys' names:
Girls' names:
Subjects in school: math
Sports: yuk
Perfume: whatever ken was wearing that smelled sooo good.
HAVE YOU EVER
Taken a bath with someone: many times
Smoked: yes
Made yourself throw up: uh huh
Skinny dipped: yeppers
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble: yeah man, i cant believe it worked
Pictured a crush naked: yeah
Actually seen a crush naked: yeah
Cried when someone died: yes
Lied: of course
Fallen for your best friend: yep
Rejected someone: yes
Used someone: unfortuantly
Done something you regret: bet your ass i have
CURRENT
Clothes: white tshirt, black dickies capris, socks with rainbows on them
Music: heavy
Make-up: black eyemake up, its meltng from the heat tho
Smell: me, i smell like chinese food
Favorite artist:
LAST PERSON
Hugged: ken
You MSNed: mike
ARE YOU
Open Minded: i like to think i am
Arrogant: sometimes
Interesting: i think?
Moody: all the time
Hardworking: i work damn hard
Organized: ha!
Healthy: ha!
active: physically? no sexually? yep other than that nope.
Bored: all the time
lonely:all the time
Responsible: when i want to be
Angry: sometimes
Sad: more than i want to be
Disappointed: alot
Hyper: not really, only a few ppl bring it out of me
Trusting: to those who deserve it
Talkative: if im smashed
Legal: to do what?
WHO DO YOU WANNA
Kill: no one
Slap: many pople, especially my boss
Talk to online: if i wanted to talk to anyone i would be online
WHICH IS BETTER
Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi
Flowers or candy: they are both SUCH sweet gestures, AND i never get neither *glares at ken*
Tall or short:
Thick or thin:
RANDOM
In the morning I am: a B I T C H
All I need is: my mother
What do you notice on a person first:their hair
Last person you danced with: ken was trying to make me dance with him for some reason
Who makes you smile: dez, ken, damien, my mom,paul
Who gives you a funny feeling when you see them: no one really
Who do you have crush on:
Who has a crush on you: fucked if i know
DO YOU EVER
Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone to IM you: fuck no
Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: when i am bleeding
Wish you were young: i love my age
NUMBER
Of times I have had my heart broken: once
Of hearts I have broken: i dont kno...
Of guys I've kissed: fuuuck...i dont even have the slightest idea
Of girls I've kissed:kissed- many, made out with- 1
Of continents I have lived in on: one
Of cds I own: many, they are all over the place |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
| 03:08am 08/06/2005 |
| |
mood:  lonely
|
I just wish that for one day I wouldn't have to deal with how badly I fucked myself over.
I realize that I made my bed and I have to lie in it, but it is kinda hard when everyday is a constant reminder.
I wish that for 5 minutes I could go back, I would change everything.
I wish that for 5 minutes I existed, to you.
If I wasn't so selfish, I wouldn't be in this mess. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
| 03:59pm 29/05/2005 |
| |
mood:  irritated music: Blindside- about a burning fire
|
if anyone knows anyone who is looking for a job...
my work is looking for kitchen help, its like 9-10 hours a week,
and the shifts are friday, sat and sun.
they can just go in and ask for Ken. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
| 02:49am 29/05/2005 |
| |
I'm so going poaching. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
| 11:20pm 27/05/2005 |
| |
im sick of talking with friends who tell me how much they love their boyfriend/girlfriend.
im probably going to piss off a few souls, but i could care less.
How can you love someone you do not know?
and when you say you love them after knowing them for only 2 months
you cannot know someone after only 2 months.
I think many of my peers are confused between love and infatuation.
LOVE:A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness
INFATUATION:A foolish, unreasoning, or extravagant passion or attraction.
I have had to explain my little views on this 2 times today.
This girl I work with kept going on about how much she "loves" her boyfriend.
So me, I try and be nice and take intrest, and ask her how long she has been with him, she tells me a little over a month. I laughed at her. and told her how patheitc she sounded.
then my cousin comes online and starts blabbing away about love.
I just tell them how i think they are confused, and i also think its some kind of security to people.
ya know, the thought of someone being there.
They both told me I was just bitter, and i wouldn't know love if it slapped me in the face.
Me bitter. No. Realistic. Yes.
I do not have to feel like someone is there to get myself through a day.
I can have a relationship, and have fun, not have all of these complex feelings involved.
as for me being bitter, I am not bitter towards love itself, hey if you can find someone you love more power to you, but frankly, i dont want to hear about how much you love someone you don't know.
I dont see why the whole world is obsessed with falling on love thats all.
I am so tired, I worked for 4 hours today, and i am so dead.
but me working for 4 hours, is like working for 8 considering i am doing 2 peoples jobs.
I am doing my new job and my old job because they haven hired anyoen new yet.
so i have to work twice as hard.
and the other waitress is a fucking idiot.
she just stands around and stares into space, while im like go and get this done, hey you have a table, hey you have to clean off your tables.
she probably thinks im a bossy little bitch, but i dont want to be getting bitched at because of her, or have to stay and do her work.
I cant wait until tomorrow, she is going to get a nice wake up call.
I am not doing her tables dishes, anymore.
Im not going to tell her what needs to be done, anymore.
I am just going to do what i have to do, and watch her have a breakdown, so she can qit or get fired.
heh, thats kinda mean of me, but i dont like her.
and im sick of her, she is too slow.
I want someone cool to get hired.
I also dont like this bitch because she whined to my boss that she is older than me and she has bills to pay so she needs more hours, so they took my hours and gave them to her. MAD.
so, i plan to drive her to quit.
its fucked i have worked there way longer than she has, i think i should of been next in line for christina(the girl who just quit) hours.
so me acting like i own the place, am going to tell my boss that if he gives her my hours, ill quit and then he can hire two new ppl, and have his slow dumb, waitress work there.
I think I have rambled on about nothing for long enough.
oh, Ken told me today that he is with me because no one else was available, and that his hand is more fun.
Real nice of him, he was joking, but it was kinda mean.
Im going beddy byes
godnight,
melissssssssssa!
ps-congrats to anyone who made it through all of that shit. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
cryforcruella's journal